A Year Can Change Everything.

One year ago today I woke up in an uncomfortable detox unit bed in a drug rehab facility.

One year ago today I had just finished going through heroin withdrawals.

One year ago today I sat on the hallway floor rocking back and forth, begging to go home.

One year ago today my parents picked me up and I sat silently in the backseat, feeling more embarrassed and ashamed than I ever had in my entire life.

One year ago today I couldn’t bring myself to look my little sisters in the eyes.

One year ago today I laid in my bed wondering how my life had gotten to this point.

One year ago today I thought my entire life was over.

Today I woke up in my own bed and the first thing I saw was the ultrasound of the precious life inside me (oh yeah, I’m having a baby!).  I got ready in my sweatpants with draw-strings (if you’ve ever been an addict/been to rehab, it’s kind of a big deal to have clothing with draw-strings).  I drove two hours to visit with my sweet friend, the friend who visited me in rehab and has held me accountable (whether I liked it or not), the friend who pours into me the most and who today said yes to being my baby’s God-mother.  I left with a full heart and went to Fairfax Hospital, the same rehab center I was discharged from one year ago today.  I sat in the same chair I sat in while waiting to be admitted.  I was thrown into the biggest hug from my favorite nurse turned friend turned Auntie Cassie to my sweet baby, the nurse who changed my life.  I talked with her for a while, and was quickly reminded of just how loved I am.  She’s the one who told me to “fight for myself” and a constant reason behind why I am happy to be alive today.  I went home and was loved on by my family who chose to love and forgive me even though I gave them every reason not to.

Today I was reminded of all the reasons I have fought so hard for myself this past year.  It hasn’t been easy.  It’s been painful and heartbreaking.  But man, has it been worth it.

 

Fight For Yourself.  Always.

 

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Author: happilyhannahgreen

Let's talk about the hard stuff.

One thought on “A Year Can Change Everything.”

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